The Breakup
Well, its official....I've gone through 2 breakups in the past 2 weeks! Yes TWO!! Both were on my terms. I know what you're thinking....Mama's a player! But its not what you think. Anyways, being a player sounds like WAY to much work, who's got that kind of free time??
Breakup #1
This was a long, drawn out, mostly unhealthy relationship. As with most unhealthy relationships it had its highs and lows, good and bad, but more often than not I was left dealing with the feeling of failure time and time again. I've spent countless hours over the years researching how to fix the relationship, reading blogs and magazines and finding support groups, but never really achieved the lasting blissful relationship I needed. So, its official.....I broke up with DIETING!!! Between the calorie, fat, sugar, carb, fiber, protein, and points counting that I was doing dieting has consumed more of my time and energy than I would like to admit. So that's it, I'm done with dieting. In the past week I've stopped obsessing over every calorie and every bite and I've lost 2 lbs. I think I may be on to something here. The diet industry is a making billions because we all buy into the next fad diet and we all fail, so we buy the next. This unhealthy relationship is over! Yes, I know in my last post I talked about a lifestyle change and not dieting but I found myself still counting calories and obsessing over every bite....and then I stopped, and its awesome! I'm a single mom, I don't have time to obsess over something that is getting me no where. So what's the best way to become a healthy example for my daughter.....stop eating fast food, start making meals at home (and not the kind that comes in a box or a bag, use fresh ingredients), add fresh fruits and veggies galore, drink water like its going out of style, eat only when I'm hungry, limit sweets to times when it feels like a special treat, eliminate alcohol.....ok wait, lets not get crazy.....reduce alcohol consumption. Anyways, you get the point, this can not be rocket science! Why do I need an algebraic equation to figure out my ideal calorie intake vs my caloric burn? BMI x height x weight / macros x how fast is the train going if it headed east/60 mph - 5 guys walk into a bar = pink elephants....that's what these things seem like to me. Now don't get me wrong there are those people whom eat, breathe, live fitness and God Bless them, I wish that was me, but it doesn't work for everyone. The more I calculate and obsess the more disappointed I am at the fail. By no means am I giving up my fitness goals, I'm still going to get my banging curves back and rock a bikini, but I have one main goal....feel healthy and show my baby girl that strong is beautiful. I'm not trying to be a body builder or a fitness model in a magazine, I'm just trying to be a model of fitness to Princess A. The road to fabulous mamanista is never over, but I broke up with dieting....and its liberating!
Breakup # 2
This was a hard and very recent break up. For the past 2 years I've been in a relationship where I have constantly struggled with comparing myself to unrealistic ideas of what is right/wrong and successful. Hell, the other party/parties in this relationship didn't even really know they were in one! I'm talking about the relationship we have with other parents and the progress of their children. As much as we try not to we compare our kids and their progress to those around us who can help but give in when you meet the little girl at daycare that has the freakishly amazing verbal skills at the age of 2, or the toddler on the playground that stops on a dime when the mom in the calmest voice possible says "Please stop running, that is not ok." Or how about the 2 year old that seems to know every number, color, shape, letter, and I'm pretty sure every president, country, and the key to world peace. Its hard not to say, what am I doing wrong??? Or, more likely, what are the parents doing to these little freaks of nature...its got to be border line illegal right?? You know you've thought it! There is always that moment in a relationship when you know you need a change, mine came over the weekend after a trip to Wal-Mart that left me almost in tears by the time we got to the car. Lets just say it may have involved a lot of yelling by an adorable little Princess and a possible mishap with a toddler, a cart, and a not so happy lady in the check out line....please don't make me relive it. My spirited little toddler's new fav words are "No, no, no Mommy, I do it." I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T....do you know what that means? It means mommy melt down....trust me it does, I looked it up. So what is a mommy to do??? First give yourself a little reality check.....no one is perfect! Not even the mother of the kid who you swear is going to cure cancer or become president some day. This is going to be one of those breakups where I'm going to have to have several "Don't go back to that relationship" talks with myself over the years, its tempting to get sucked in. But I've realized I'm not doing Princess A any good by comparing her to others. The only good and real thing I've learned from all these parenting books.....All kids develop at a different pace. I've got a very smart, caring, energetic toddler on my hands and she's amazing! She loves books, and puzzles, and cooking with me, and playing play-doh, and painting, and coloring, and dance parties in our living room. She's a leader (some may say bossy) at daycare and has personality for days, so I think we are doing pretty good. I may not have all the answers and do it all right, but I do what's right for us. So the next time I see someone whose toddler is freakishly well behaved or reciting the declaration of independence, while mine is having a mini melt down because I forgot to let her put the bread in the shopping cart for me, I'm just going to remind myself that they are aliens and its all ok. :-) Whatever gets you through the day right??
And so the journey continues!!!
Breakup #1
This was a long, drawn out, mostly unhealthy relationship. As with most unhealthy relationships it had its highs and lows, good and bad, but more often than not I was left dealing with the feeling of failure time and time again. I've spent countless hours over the years researching how to fix the relationship, reading blogs and magazines and finding support groups, but never really achieved the lasting blissful relationship I needed. So, its official.....I broke up with DIETING!!! Between the calorie, fat, sugar, carb, fiber, protein, and points counting that I was doing dieting has consumed more of my time and energy than I would like to admit. So that's it, I'm done with dieting. In the past week I've stopped obsessing over every calorie and every bite and I've lost 2 lbs. I think I may be on to something here. The diet industry is a making billions because we all buy into the next fad diet and we all fail, so we buy the next. This unhealthy relationship is over! Yes, I know in my last post I talked about a lifestyle change and not dieting but I found myself still counting calories and obsessing over every bite....and then I stopped, and its awesome! I'm a single mom, I don't have time to obsess over something that is getting me no where. So what's the best way to become a healthy example for my daughter.....stop eating fast food, start making meals at home (and not the kind that comes in a box or a bag, use fresh ingredients), add fresh fruits and veggies galore, drink water like its going out of style, eat only when I'm hungry, limit sweets to times when it feels like a special treat, eliminate alcohol.....ok wait, lets not get crazy.....reduce alcohol consumption. Anyways, you get the point, this can not be rocket science! Why do I need an algebraic equation to figure out my ideal calorie intake vs my caloric burn? BMI x height x weight / macros x how fast is the train going if it headed east/60 mph - 5 guys walk into a bar = pink elephants....that's what these things seem like to me. Now don't get me wrong there are those people whom eat, breathe, live fitness and God Bless them, I wish that was me, but it doesn't work for everyone. The more I calculate and obsess the more disappointed I am at the fail. By no means am I giving up my fitness goals, I'm still going to get my banging curves back and rock a bikini, but I have one main goal....feel healthy and show my baby girl that strong is beautiful. I'm not trying to be a body builder or a fitness model in a magazine, I'm just trying to be a model of fitness to Princess A. The road to fabulous mamanista is never over, but I broke up with dieting....and its liberating!
Breakup # 2
This was a hard and very recent break up. For the past 2 years I've been in a relationship where I have constantly struggled with comparing myself to unrealistic ideas of what is right/wrong and successful. Hell, the other party/parties in this relationship didn't even really know they were in one! I'm talking about the relationship we have with other parents and the progress of their children. As much as we try not to we compare our kids and their progress to those around us who can help but give in when you meet the little girl at daycare that has the freakishly amazing verbal skills at the age of 2, or the toddler on the playground that stops on a dime when the mom in the calmest voice possible says "Please stop running, that is not ok." Or how about the 2 year old that seems to know every number, color, shape, letter, and I'm pretty sure every president, country, and the key to world peace. Its hard not to say, what am I doing wrong??? Or, more likely, what are the parents doing to these little freaks of nature...its got to be border line illegal right?? You know you've thought it! There is always that moment in a relationship when you know you need a change, mine came over the weekend after a trip to Wal-Mart that left me almost in tears by the time we got to the car. Lets just say it may have involved a lot of yelling by an adorable little Princess and a possible mishap with a toddler, a cart, and a not so happy lady in the check out line....please don't make me relive it. My spirited little toddler's new fav words are "No, no, no Mommy, I do it." I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T....do you know what that means? It means mommy melt down....trust me it does, I looked it up. So what is a mommy to do??? First give yourself a little reality check.....no one is perfect! Not even the mother of the kid who you swear is going to cure cancer or become president some day. This is going to be one of those breakups where I'm going to have to have several "Don't go back to that relationship" talks with myself over the years, its tempting to get sucked in. But I've realized I'm not doing Princess A any good by comparing her to others. The only good and real thing I've learned from all these parenting books.....All kids develop at a different pace. I've got a very smart, caring, energetic toddler on my hands and she's amazing! She loves books, and puzzles, and cooking with me, and playing play-doh, and painting, and coloring, and dance parties in our living room. She's a leader (some may say bossy) at daycare and has personality for days, so I think we are doing pretty good. I may not have all the answers and do it all right, but I do what's right for us. So the next time I see someone whose toddler is freakishly well behaved or reciting the declaration of independence, while mine is having a mini melt down because I forgot to let her put the bread in the shopping cart for me, I'm just going to remind myself that they are aliens and its all ok. :-) Whatever gets you through the day right??
And so the journey continues!!!
Break me off a lil BREAK UP!
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